Homework. Cyber bullying. Climate change. Gun violence. War. There are many local and global headlines that may cause stress for children and adolescents. PCOM school psychology faculty offer these helpful tactics for parents and educators to comfort kids during times of crisis.
Taking time with your children to ask questions, provide reassurance and monitor digital activities are helpful ways to alleviate childhood stress according to Jessica Glass Kendorski, PhD, chair of the Department of School Psychology at PCOM.
It is important to find out what children already know and this can guide parents' questioning. Ask your children what they already know about current events or societal issues. Check in with what they have seen on their digital devices, what topics come up at school or among their peers, and how they are feeling about these things.
Be mindful to ask your questions at a developmentally appropriate level. It is important to not share more than is needed or too much detail. You will ask and respond much differently to a third grader than a high school student.
While open ended questions may be effective, its important to find balance. For example, an overly direct question may result in defensiveness while a question that is too open ended may not encourage conversation. The goal is to encourage connection and conversation. Below are a few effective ways for asking a child a question:
Parents should monitor how their children are getting their news or information on current events (social media, television, podcasts, etc.).
If your kids are on social media and you think they may come across something that could be distressing, let them know that the video will likely make them feel bad. If they are going to watch (and it is appropriate for their age and you are comfortable) try to do so together and let them know that it is okay to not to continue to watch. Remind children and teens about how continuing to watch the footage or attempting to gain more information can affect how they feel as they will continue to experience the emotions without engaging in appropriate coping strategies. This is also an opportunity to discuss empathy and perspective while balancing appropriate coping skills and social media use.
Start the conversation early after a traumatic news story and in developmentally appropriate
ways. Provide reassurance that your children are safe. Keep routines, answer questions,
talk about things within their agency and control to help them feel safe in their
home, school and community. Younger children should be shielded from images and details
they are not emotionally able to deal with effectively. Discuss different ways your
children can engage in coping strategies and empower them to help the situation through
donations or volunteerism or help similar causes in their area.
As a parent or educator, remember to take time to focus on yourself and how you are feeling. Kids will know if you are feeling distressed, but you can model appropriate coping strategies for dealing with negative emotions.
There are universal symptoms that a child may be emotionally distressed. Symptoms such as sleep problems, physical complaints (that do not appear to have a physical cause), irritability, lack of social engagement, crying often, clinginess, fear or sadness may indicate a child is stressed. Additionally, any behaviors that appear out of the norm for your child could be a sign that something is wrong. If you notice any of these signs, follow up with your family physicians and school mental health professional.
PCOM's EdS in School Psychology and PsyD in School Psychology degree programs immerse students in realistic learning experiences through the use of standardized client actors and hands-on counseling exercises. Our faculty are highly credentialed and respected practitioners who train future school psychologists to work in diverse educational settings and advocate for children and communities.
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