Mental Health Counselor, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
[as told to Jennifer Schaffer Leone]
“Last April, I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia—a disease of the very
young and the very old—not a common diagnosis for a health-conscious, gym-going 26-year-old
who held two jobs and was working to complete her graduate studies internship. But
swollen lymph nodes—the size of golf balls—infiltrated my neck and signaled that I
would need to confront my mortality before I planned on it. I was forced to put all
activities on hold as I was admitted to Hackensack University Medical Center. The
Center became my new home. From my hospital room window, I had a breathtaking view
of the New York City skyline. Outside seemed so close, but so far away. . . . I underwent
batteries of tests and procedures—lumbar punctures, bone marrow aspirates and biopsies—and
treatments, including chemotherapy. I suffered through the adverse effects of treatment:
infections, nausea, insomnia, peripheral neuropathy, hair loss. The worst part was
the constant frustration; I just wanted to be normal again. But my lymph nodes shrunk,
and for that I am grateful. At present, I am in remission. . . . Because of cancer,
my life’s trajectory has changed. I live in the moment. I prioritize better, and I
spend quality time with people I love. I am even more spiritual. I meditate. My professional
ambitions have shifted. I now intend to practice mental health counseling in a hospital
setting, offering group therapy, working with cancer patients post-treatment. I have
a profound understanding of what they face. I know the exhaustion of fighting every
day—through intense pain, through anxiety, through depression—and that the key is
to fight some of the time and then to thrive off of the fight. At the same time, I
know what it is like to surrender independence, to become dependent on others for
personal and professional needs. I have discovered that family, friends, my healthcare
team want to help me, need to help me. I have come to realize that the therapeutic
effects of this dependency are bidirectional. This is something I never grasped. But
it is, after all, the core of mental health treatment. How can I ever help my clients
if I don’t understand how to accept help myself?”
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